ACT 1
Scene 1
Enter Leonato, Governor of Messina, Hero his daughter, and Beatrice his niece, with a Messenger.
...joy at weeping!
I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned
from the wars or no?
...ever he was.
He set up his bills here in Messina and
challenged Cupid at the flight, and my uncle’s Fool,
reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid and
challenged him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how
many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But
how many hath he killed? For indeed I promised to
eat all of his killing.
...in these wars.
You had musty victual, and he hath holp to
eat it. He is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an
excellent stomach.
...soldier too, lady.
And a good soldier to a lady, but what is he
to a lord?
...all honorable virtues.
It is so indeed. He is no less than a stuffed
man, but for the stuffing—well, we are all mortal.
...wit between them.
Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last
conflict, four of his five wits went halting off, and
now is the whole man governed with one, so that if
he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him
bear it for a difference between himself and his
horse, for it is all the wealth that he hath left to
be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion
now? He hath every month a new sworn
brother.
...Is ’t possible?
Very easily possible. He wears his faith but
as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the
next block.
...in your books.
No. An he were, I would burn my study. But
I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no
young squarer now that will make a voyage with
him to the devil?
...right noble Claudio.
O Lord, he will hang upon him like a
disease! He is sooner caught than the pestilence,
and the taker runs presently mad. God help the
noble Claudio! If he have caught the Benedick, it
will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cured.
...with you, lady.
Do, good friend.
...run mad, niece.
No, not till a hot January.
...as she is.
I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior
Benedick, nobody marks you.
...you yet living?
Is it possible disdain should die while she
hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick?
Courtesy itself must convert to disdain if you come
in her presence.
...I love none.
A dear happiness to women. They would
else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I
thank God and my cold blood I am of your humor
for that. I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow
than a man swear he loves me.
...predestinate scratched face.
Scratching could not make it worse an
’twere such a face as yours were.
...a rare parrot-teacher.
A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of
yours.
...I have done.
You always end with a jade’s trick. I know
you of old.
...will go together.
All exit except Benedick and Claudio.
ACT 2
Scene 1
...upon your Lordship.
Enter Leonato, his brother, Hero his daughter, and Beatrice his niece, with Ursula and Margaret.
...saw him not.
How tartly that gentleman looks! I never
can see him but I am heartburned an hour after.
...very melancholy disposition.
He were an excellent man that were made
just in the midway between him and Benedick. The
one is too like an image and says nothing, and the
other too like my lady’s eldest son, evermore
tattling.
...Signior Benedick’s face—
With a good leg and a good foot, uncle, and
money enough in his purse, such a man would win
any woman in the world if he could get her
goodwill.
...she’s too curst.
Too curst is more than curst. I shall lessen
God’s sending that way, for it is said “God sends a
curst cow short horns,” but to a cow too curst, he
sends none.
...you no horns.
Just, if He send me no husband, for the
which blessing I am at Him upon my knees every
morning and evening. Lord, I could not endure a
husband with a beard on his face. I had rather lie in
the woolen!
...hath no beard.
What should I do with him? Dress him in my
apparel and make him my waiting gentlewoman?
He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he
that hath no beard is less than a man; and he that is
more than a youth is not for me, and he that is less
than a man, I am not for him. Therefore I will even
take sixpence in earnest of the bearherd, and lead
his apes into hell.
...you into hell?
No, but to the gate, and there will the devil
meet me like an old cuckold with horns on his
head, and say “Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you
to heaven; here’s no place for you maids.” So deliver
I up my apes and away to Saint Peter; for the
heavens, he shows me where the bachelors sit, and
there live we as merry as the day is long.
...by your father.
Yes, faith, it is my cousin’s duty to make
curtsy and say “Father, as it please you.” But yet for
all that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or
else make another curtsy and say “Father, as it
please me.”
...with a husband.
Not till God make men of some other metal
than earth. Would it not grieve a woman to be
overmastered with a piece of valiant dust? To make
an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl?
No, uncle, I’ll none. Adam’s sons are my brethren,
and truly I hold it a sin to match in my kindred.
...know your answer.
The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you
be not wooed in good time. If the Prince be too
important, tell him there is measure in everything,
and so dance out the answer. For hear me, Hero,
wooing, wedding, and repenting is as a Scotch jig, a
measure, and a cinquepace. The first suit is hot and
hasty like a Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the
wedding, mannerly modest as a measure, full of
state and ancientry; and then comes repentance,
and with his bad legs falls into the cinquepace faster
and faster till he sink into his grave.
...apprehend passing shrewdly.
I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church
by daylight.
...there’s an end.
Benedick and Beatrice move forward.
Will you not tell me who told you so?
...shall pardon me.
Nor will you not tell me who you are?
... Not now.
That I was disdainful, and that I had my
good wit out of The Hundred Merry Tales! Well, this
was Signior Benedick that said so.
... What’s he?
I am sure you know him well enough.
...I, believe me.
Did he never make you laugh?
...what is he?
Why, he is the Prince’s jester, a very dull
fool; only his gift is in devising impossible slanders.
None but libertines delight in him, and the commendation
is not in his wit but in his villainy, for he
both pleases men and angers them, and then they
laugh at him and beat him. I am sure he is in the
fleet.I would he had boarded me.
...what you say.
Do, do. He’ll but break a comparison or two
on me, which peradventure not marked or not
laughed at strikes him into melancholy, and then
there’s a partridge wing saved, for the fool will eat
no supper that night.
Music for the dance.
We must
follow the leaders.
...every good thing.
Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them
at the next turning.
Dance. Then exit all except Don John, Borachio, and Claudio.
...perturbation follows her.
Enter Claudio and Beatrice.
...of Signior Benedick.
Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile, and I
gave him use for it, a double heart for his single
one. Marry, once before he won it of me with false
dice. Therefore your Grace may well say I have lost
it.
...put him down.
So I would not he should do me, my lord,
lest I should prove the mother of fools. I have
brought Count Claudio, whom you sent me to seek.
...Neither, my lord.
The Count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry,
nor well, but civil count, civil as an orange, and
something of that jealous complexion.
...“Amen” to it.
Speak, count, ’tis your cue.
...upon the exchange.
Speak, cousin, or, if you cannot, stop his
mouth with a kiss and let not him speak neither.
...a merry heart.
Yea, my lord. I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on
the windy side of care. My cousin tells him in his ear
that he is in her heart.
...she doth, cousin.
Good Lord for alliance! Thus goes everyone
to the world but I, and I am sunburnt. I may sit in a
corner and cry “Heigh-ho for a husband!”
...get you one.
I would rather have one of your father’s
getting. Hath your Grace ne’er a brother like you?
Your father got excellent husbands, if a maid could
come by them.
...have me, lady?
No, my lord, unless I might have another for
working days. Your Grace is too costly to wear
every day. But I beseech your Grace pardon me. I
was born to speak all mirth and no matter.
...a merry hour.
No, sure, my lord, my mother cried, but then
there was a star danced, and under that was I
born.—Cousins, God give you joy!
...told you of?
I cry you mercy, uncle.—By your Grace’s
pardon.
Beatrice exits.
Scene 3
...love in her.
Enter Beatrice.
Against my will, I am sent to bid you come
in to dinner.
...for your pains.
I took no more pains for those thanks than
you take pains to thank me. If it had been painful, I
would not have come.
...in the message?
Yea, just so much as you may take upon a
knife’s point and choke a daw withal. You have no
stomach, signior. Fare you well.
She exits.
ACT 3
Scene 1
...hear our conference.
Enter Beatrice, who hides in the bower.
...some with traps.
coming forward
What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true?
Stand I condemned for pride and scorn so much?
Contempt, farewell, and maiden pride, adieu!
No glory lives behind the back of such.
And Benedick, love on; I will requite thee,
Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand.
If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee
To bind our loves up in a holy band.
For others say thou dost deserve, and I
Believe it better than reportingly.
She exits.
Scene 4
...Here she comes.
Enter Beatrice.
...Good morrow, coz.
Good morrow, sweet Hero.
...the sick tune?
I am out of all other tune, methinks.
...I’ll dance it.
You light o’ love with your heels! Then, if
your husband have stables enough, you’ll see he
shall lack no barns.
...with my heels.
’Tis almost five o’clock, cousin. ’Tis time
you were ready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill.
Heigh-ho!
...or a husband?
For the letter that begins them all, H.
...by the star.
What means the fool, trow?
...an excellent perfume.
I am stuffed, cousin. I cannot smell.
...catching of cold.
O, God help me, God help me! How long
have you professed apprehension?
...become me rarely?
It is not seen enough; you should wear it in
your cap. By my troth, I am sick.
...with a thistle.
Benedictus! Why benedictus? You have some
moral in this benedictus?
...other women do.
What pace is this that thy tongue keeps?
...Meg, good Ursula.
They exit.
ACT 4
Scene 1
...at the jail.
Enter Prince, John the Bastard, Leonato, Friar, Claudio, Benedick, Hero, and Beatrice, with Attendants.
...me? Hero falls.
Why, how now, cousin, wherefore sink you down?
...doth the lady?
Dead, I think.—Help, uncle!—
Hero, why Hero! Uncle! Signior Benedick! Friar!
...be wished for.
How now, cousin Hero?
...what to say.
O, on my soul, my cousin is belied!
...bedfellow last night?
No, truly not, although until last night
I have this twelvemonth been her bedfellow.
...all this while?
Yea, and I will weep a while longer.
...not desire that.
You have no reason. I do it freely.
...cousin is wronged.
Ah, how much might the man deserve of me
that would right her!
...show such friendship?
A very even way, but no such friend.
...man do it?
It is a man’s office, but not yours.
...not that strange?
As strange as the thing I know not. It were as
possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you,
but believe me not, and yet I lie not; I confess
nothing, nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my
cousin.
...thou lovest me!
Do not swear and eat it.
...love not you.
Will you not eat your word?
...I love thee.
Why then, God forgive me.
...offense, sweet Beatrice?
You have stayed me in a happy hour. I was
about to protest I loved you.
...all thy heart.
I love you with so much of my heart that
none is left to protest.
...anything for thee.
Kill Claudio.
...the wide world.
You kill me to deny it. Farewell.
She begins to exit.
...Tarry, sweet Beatrice.
I am gone, though I am here. There is no
love in you. Nay, I pray you let me go.
... Beatrice—
In faith, I will go.
...be friends first.
You dare easier be friends with me than
fight with mine enemy.
...Claudio thine enemy?
Is he not approved in the height a villain
that hath slandered, scorned, dishonored my kinswoman?
O, that I were a man! What, bear her in
hand until they come to take hands, and then, with
public accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated
rancor—O God, that I were a man! I would eat his
heart in the marketplace.
...Hear me, Beatrice—
Talk with a man out at a window! A proper
saying.
...Nay, but Beatrice—
Sweet Hero, she is wronged, she is slandered,
she is undone.
... Beat—
Princes and counties! Surely a princely testimony,
a goodly count, Count Comfect, a sweet
gallant, surely! O, that I were a man for his sake! Or
that I had any friend would be a man for my sake!
But manhood is melted into curtsies, valor into
compliment, and men are only turned into tongue,
and trim ones, too. He is now as valiant as Hercules
that only tells a lie and swears it. I cannot be a man
with wishing; therefore I will die a woman with
grieving.
...I love thee.
Use it for my love some other way than
swearing by it.
...hath wronged Hero?
Yea, as sure as I have a thought or a soul.
...and so farewell.
They exit.
ACT 5
Scene 2
...in festival terms.
Enter Beatrice.
...I called thee?
Yea, signior, and depart when you bid me.
...but till then!
“Then” is spoken. Fare you well now. And
yet, ere I go, let me go with that I came, which is,
with knowing what hath passed between you and
Claudio.
...will kiss thee.
Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is
but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome. Therefore
I will depart unkissed.
...love with me?
For them all together, which maintained so
politic a state of evil that they will not admit any
good part to intermingle with them. But for which
of my good parts did you first suffer love for me?
...against my will.
In spite of your heart, I think. Alas, poor
heart, if you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for
yours, for I will never love that which my friend
hates.
...to woo peaceably.
It appears not in this confession. There’s not
one wise man among twenty that will praise
himself.
...the widow weeps.
And how long is that, think you?
...doth your cousin?
Very ill.
...how do you?
Very ill, too.
...you come presently?
Will you go hear this news, signior?
...to thy uncle’s.
They exit.
Scene 4
...up this woe.
Enter Leonato, Benedick, Beatrice, Margaret, Ursula, Leonato’s brother, Friar, Hero.
...to young Claudio.
The ladies exit.
...comes other reck’nings.
Enter Leonato’s brother, Hero, Beatrice, Margaret, Ursula, the ladies masked.
...friar.—Which is Beatrice?
unmasking
I answer to that name. What is your will?
...you love me?
Why no, no more than reason.
...swore you did.
Do not you love me?
...more than reason.
Why then, my cousin, Margaret, and Ursula
Are much deceived, for they did swear you did.
...sick for me.
They swore that you were well-nigh dead for me.
...not love me?
No, truly, but in friendly recompense.
...thee for pity.
I would not deny you, but by this good day, I
yield upon great persuasion, and partly to save your
life, for I was told you were in a consumption.
...stop your mouth.
They kiss.
...plays. They dance.
They exit.