ACT 3
Scene 3
...seen the sequel.
Enter Dogberry and his compartner Verges with the Watch.
Are you good men and true?
...body and soul.
Nay, that were a punishment too good for
them if they should have any allegiance in them,
being chosen for the Prince’s watch.
...charge, neighbor Dogberry.
First, who think you the most desartless
man to be constable?
...write and read.
Come hither, neighbor Seacoal.
Seacoal steps forward.
God hath blessed you with a good
name. To be a well-favored man is the gift of
fortune, but to write and read comes by nature.
...which, master constable—
You have. I knew it would be your answer.
Well, for your favor, sir, why, give God thanks, and
make no boast of it, and for your writing and
reading, let that appear when there is no need of
such vanity. You are thought here to be the most
senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch;
therefore bear you the lantern. This is your charge:
you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to
bid any man stand, in the Prince’s name.
...will not stand?
Why, then, take no note of him, but let him
go, and presently call the rest of the watch together
and thank God you are rid of a knave.
...the Prince’s subjects.
True, and they are to meddle with none but
the Prince’s subjects.—You shall also make no
noise in the streets; for, for the watch to babble and
to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.
...to a watch.
Why, you speak like an ancient and most
quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping
should offend; only have a care that your bills be not
stolen. Well, you are to call at all the alehouses and
bid those that are drunk get them to bed.
...they will not?
Why then, let them alone till they are sober.
If they make you not then the better answer, you
may say they are not the men you took them for.
... Well, sir.
If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by
virtue of your office, to be no true man, and for such
kind of men, the less you meddle or make with
them, why, the more is for your honesty.
...hands on him?
Truly, by your office you may, but I think
they that touch pitch will be defiled. The most
peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is to
let him show himself what he is and steal out of
your company.
...merciful man, partner.
Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will,
much more a man who hath any honesty in him.
...not hear us?
Why, then depart in peace, and let the
child wake her with crying, for the ewe that will
not hear her lamb when it baas will never answer a
calf when he bleats.
...’Tis very true.
This is the end of the charge. You, constable,
are to present the Prince’s own person. If you
meet the Prince in the night, you may stay him.
...think he cannot.
Five shillings to one on ’t, with any man that
knows the statutes, he may stay him—marry, not
without the Prince be willing, for indeed the watch
ought to offend no man, and it is an offense to stay a
man against his will.
...it be so.
Ha, ah ha!—Well, masters, goodnight. An
there be any matter of weight chances, call up me.
Keep your fellows’ counsels and your own, and
goodnight.—Come, neighbor.
Dogberry and Verges begin to exit.
...all to bed.
One word more, honest neighbors. I pray
you watch about Signior Leonato’s door, for the
wedding being there tomorrow, there is a great coil
tonight. Adieu, be vigitant, I beseech you.
Dogberry and Verges exit.
...wears a lock.
Enter Dogberry, Verges, and Second Watchman.
Masters, masters—
...I warrant you.
to Borachio and Conrade
Masters, never
speak, we charge you, let us obey you to go with us.
...we’ll obey you.
They exit.
Scene 5
...Meg, good Ursula.
Enter Leonato, and Dogberry, the Constable, and Verges, the Headborough.
...me, honest neighbor?
Marry, sir, I would have some confidence
with you that decerns you nearly.
...time with me.
Marry, this it is, sir.
...my good friends?
Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the
matter. An old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt
as, God help, I would desire they were, but, in faith,
honest as the skin between his brows.
...honester than I.
Comparisons are odorous. Palabras, neighbor
Verges.
...you are tedious.
It pleases your Worship to say so, but we
are the poor duke’s officers. But truly, for mine
own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find
in my heart to bestow it all of your Worship.
...on me, ah?
Yea, an ’twere a thousand pound more
than ’tis, for I hear as good exclamation on your
Worship as of any man in the city, and though I be
but a poor man, I am glad to hear it.
...any in Messina.
A good old man, sir. He will be talking. As
they say, “When the age is in, the wit is out.” God
help us, it is a world to see!—Well said, i’ faith,
neighbor Verges.—Well, God’s a good man. An two
men ride of a horse, one must ride behind. An
honest soul, i’ faith, sir, by my troth he is, as ever
broke bread, but God is to be worshiped, all men
are not alike, alas, good neighbor.
...short of you.
Gifts that God gives.
...must leave you.
One word, sir. Our watch, sir, have indeed
comprehended two aspicious persons, and we
would have them this morning examined before
your Worship.
...appear unto you.
It shall be suffigance.
...I am ready.
Go, good partner, go, get you to Francis
Seacoal. Bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the
jail. We are now to examination these men.
...do it wisely.
We will spare for no wit, I warrant you.
Here’s that shall drive some of them to a noncome.
Only get the learned writer to set down our excommunication
and meet me at the jail.
They exit.
ACT 4
Scene 2
...and so farewell.
Enter the Constables Dogberry and Verges, and the Town Clerk, or Sexton, in gowns, with the Watch, Conrade, and Borachio.
Is our whole dissembly appeared?
...be the malefactors?
Marry, that am I, and my partner.
...before Master Constable.
Yea, marry, let them come before me.
Conrade and Borachio are brought forward.
What is your name, friend?
... Borachio.
Pray, write down “Borachio.”—Yours,
sirrah?
...name is Conrade.
Write down “Master Gentleman Conrade.”—
Masters, do you serve God?
...sir, we hope.
Write down that they hope they serve
God; and write God first, for God defend but God
should go before such villains!—Masters, it is
proved already that you are little better than false
knaves, and it will go near to be thought so shortly.
How answer you for yourselves?
...we are none.
A marvelous witty fellow, I assure you,
but I will go about with him.—Come you hither,
sirrah, a word in your ear. Sir, I say to you it is
thought you are false knaves.
...we are none.
Well, stand aside.—’Fore God, they are
both in a tale. Have you writ down that they are
none?
...are their accusers.
Yea, marry, that’s the eftest way.—Let
the watch come forth. Masters, I charge you in the
Prince’s name, accuse these men.
...was a villain.
Write down Prince John a villain. Why,
this is flat perjury, to call a prince’s brother villain!
... Master constable—
Pray thee, fellow, peace. I do not like thy
look, I promise thee.
...Lady Hero wrongfully.
Flat burglary as ever was committed.
...not marry her.
to Borachio
O, villain! Thou wilt be condemned
into everlasting redemption for this!
...him their examination.
Come, let them be opinioned.
...hands— Off, coxcomb!
God’s my life, where’s the Sexton? Let
him write down the Prince’s officer “coxcomb.”
Come, bind them.—Thou naughty varlet!
...are an ass!
Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost
thou not suspect my years? O, that he were here to
write me down an ass! But masters, remember that
I am an ass, though it be not written down, yet
forget not that I am an ass.—No, thou villain, thou
art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by
good witness. I am a wise fellow and, which is more,
an officer and, which is more, a householder and,
which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in
Messina, and one that knows the law, go to, and a
rich fellow enough, go to, and a fellow that hath had
losses, and one that hath two gowns and everything
handsome about him.—Bring him away.—O, that I
had been writ down an ass!
They exit.
ACT 5
Scene 1
...brother was fled?
Enter Constables Dogberry and Verges, and the Watch, with Conrade and Borachio.
Come you, sir. If justice cannot tame you,
she shall ne’er weigh more reasons in her balance.
Nay, an you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must
be looked to.
...these men done?
Marry, sir, they have committed false
report; moreover, they have spoken untruths;
secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they
have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust
things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves.
...loved it first.
Come, bring away the plaintiffs. By this
time our sexton hath reformed Signior Leonato of
the matter. And, masters, do not forget to specify,
when time and place shall serve, that I am an ass.
...know by her.
to Leonato
Moreover, sir, which indeed is
not under white and black, this plaintiff here, the
offender, did call me ass. I beseech you, let it be
remembered in his punishment. And also the watch
heard them talk of one Deformed. They say he
wears a key in his ear and a lock hanging by it and
borrows money in God’s name, the which he hath
used so long and never paid that now men grow
hardhearted and will lend nothing for God’s sake.
Pray you, examine him upon that point.
...and honest pains.
Your Worship speaks like a most thankful
and reverent youth, and I praise God for you.
LEONATO, giving him money
...for thy pains.
God save the foundation.
...I thank thee.
I leave an arrant knave with your Worship,
which I beseech your Worship to correct
yourself, for the example of others. God keep your
Worship! I wish your Worship well. God restore you
to health. I humbly give you leave to depart, and if a
merry meeting may be wished, God prohibit it.—
Come, neighbor.
Dogberry and Verges exit.