ACT 1
Scene 3
...Lead me on.
Enter Sir Toby and Maria.
...enemy to life.
By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier
o’ nights. Your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions
to your ill hours.
...except before excepted!
Ay, but you must confine yourself within the
modest limits of order.
...their own straps!
That quaffing and drinking will undo you. I
heard my lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish
knight that you brought in one night here to be her
wooer.
...Sir Andrew Aguecheek?
Ay, he.
...’s in Illyria.
What’s that to th’ purpose?
...ducats a year!
Ay, but he’ll have but a year in all these ducats.
He’s a very fool and a prodigal.
...gifts of nature.
He hath indeed, almost natural, for, besides
that he’s a fool, he’s a great quarreler, and, but that
he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath
in quarreling, ’tis thought among the prudent he
would quickly have the gift of a grave.
...Who are they?
They that add, moreover, he’s drunk nightly in
your company.
...you, fair shrew.
And you too, sir.
...desire better acquaintance.
My name is Mary, sir.
...meaning of “accost”?
Fare you well, gentlemen.
She begins to exit.
...fools in hand?
Sir, I have not you by th’ hand.
...offers his hand.
taking his hand
Now sir, thought is free. I
pray you, bring your hand to th’ butt’ry bar and let
it drink.
...What’s your metaphor?
It’s dry, sir.
...what’s your jest?
A dry jest, sir.
...full of them?
Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers’ ends. Marry,
now I let go your hand, I am barren.
Maria exits.
Scene 5
...be his wife.
Enter Maria and Feste, the Fool.
Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I
will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter
in way of thy excuse. My lady will hang thee for thy
absence.
...fear no colors.
Make that good.
...none to fear.
A good Lenten answer. I can tell thee where
that saying was born, of “I fear no colors.”
...good Mistress Mary?
In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in
your foolery.
...use their talents.
Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent.
Or to be turned away, is not that as good as a
hanging to you?
...bear it out.
You are resolute, then?
...on two points.
That if one break, the other will hold, or if both
break, your gaskins fall.
...any in Illyria.
Peace, you rogue. No more o’ that. Here comes
my lady. Make your excuse wisely, you were best.
She exits.
...well of Fools!
Enter Maria.
Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman
much desires to speak with you.
...Orsino, is it?
I know not, madam. ’Tis a fair young man, and
well attended.
...him in delay?
Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman.
...Fie on him!
Maria exits.
...my lady calls.
Enter Maria.
...skipping a dialogue.
Will you hoist sail, sir? Here lies your way.
...hear this divinity.
Maria and Attendants exit.
ACT 2
Scene 3
...Come, begin.Catch sung.
Enter Maria.
What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my
lady have not called up her steward Malvolio and
bid him turn you out of doors, never trust me.
...day of December—
For the love o’ God, peace!
...needs be gone.
Nay, good Sir Toby.
...by this hand.
Go shake your ears!
...word of mouth.
Sweet Sir Toby, be patient for tonight. Since the
youth of the Count’s was today with my lady, she is
much out of quiet. For Monsieur Malvolio, let me
alone with him. If I do not gull him into a nayword
and make him a common recreation, do not think I
have wit enough to lie straight in my bed. I know I
can do it.
...something of him.
Marry, sir, sometimes he is a kind of puritan.
...reason good enough.
The devil a puritan that he is, or anything
constantly but a time-pleaser; an affectioned ass
that cons state without book and utters it by great
swaths; the best persuaded of himself, so crammed,
as he thinks, with excellencies, that it is his grounds
of faith that all that look on him love him. And on
that vice in him will my revenge find notable cause
to work.
...wilt thou do?
I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of
love, wherein by the color of his beard, the shape of
his leg, the manner of his gait, the expressure of his
eye, forehead, and complexion, he shall find himself
most feelingly personated. I can write very like my
lady your niece; on a forgotten matter, we can
hardly make distinction of our hands.
...love with him.
My purpose is indeed a horse of that color.
...him an ass.
Ass, I doubt not.
...’twill be admirable!
Sport royal, I warrant you. I know my physic
will work with him. I will plant you two, and let the
Fool make a third, where he shall find the letter.
Observe his construction of it. For this night, to bed,
and dream on the event. Farewell.
...Good night, Penthesilea.
She exits.
Scene 5
...of our lives.
Enter Maria.
...metal of India?
Get you all three into the boxtree. Malvolio’s
coming down this walk. He has been yonder i’ the
sun practicing behavior to his own shadow this half
hour. Observe him, for the love of mockery, for I
know this letter will make a contemplative idiot of
him. Close, in the name of jesting!
They hide.
Lie
thou there putting down the letter,
for here comes
the trout that must be caught with tickling.
She exits.
...Nor I neither.
Enter Maria.
...must run mad.
Nay, but say true, does it work upon him?
...with a midwife.
If you will then see the fruits of the sport,
mark his first approach before my lady. He will
come to her in yellow stockings, and ’tis a color
she abhors, and cross-gartered, a fashion she detests;
and he will smile upon her, which will now
be so unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted
to a melancholy as she is, that it cannot
but turn him into a notable contempt. If you will
see it, follow me.
...make one, too.
They exit.
ACT 3
Scene 1
...we are prevented.
Enter Olivia, and Maria, her Gentlewoman.
...to my hearing.
Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Maria exit.
Scene 2
...presage of cruelty.
Enter Maria.
...of mine comes.
If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves
into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is
turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no
Christian that means to be saved by believing rightly
can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness.
He’s in yellow stockings.
... And cross-gartered?
Most villainously, like a pedant that keeps a
school i’ th’ church. I have dogged him like his
murderer. He does obey every point of the letter
that I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face
into more lines than is in the new map with the
augmentation of the Indies. You have not seen such
a thing as ’tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things at
him. I know my lady will strike him. If she do, he’ll
smile and take ’t for a great favor.
...where he is.
They all exit.
Scene 4
...I do remember.
Enter Olivia and Maria.
...Where is Malvolio?
He’s coming, madam, but in very strange manner.
He is sure possessed, madam.
...Does he rave?
No, madam, he does nothing but smile. Your
Ladyship were best to have some guard about you if
he come, for sure the man is tainted in ’s wits.
...call him hither.
Maria exits.
...madness equal be.
Enter Maria with Malvolio.
...hand so oft?
How do you, Malvolio?
...nightingales answer daws!
Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness
before my lady?
...of my dowry.
Olivia and Maria exit in different directions.
...to be thanked.
Enter Toby, Fabian, and Maria.
...private. Go off.
to Toby
Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks
within him! Did not I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady
prays you to have a care of him.
...what you say?
to Toby
La you, an you speak ill of the devil,
how he takes it at heart! Pray God he be not
bewitched!
...to th’ wisewoman.
Marry, and it shall be done tomorrow morning
if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than
I’ll say.
...How now, mistress?
O Lord!
...him, foul collier!
Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby; get
him to pray.
...My prayers, minx?
to Toby
No, I warrant you, he will not hear of
godliness.
...the device, man.
Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air
and taint.
...him mad indeed.
The house will be the quieter.
...give ’t him.
You may have very fit occasion for ’t. He is now
in some commerce with my lady and will by and
by depart.
...for a challenge.
Toby, Fabian, and Maria exit.
ACT 4
Scene 2
...and so be!
Enter Maria and Feste, the Fool.
Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard;
make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate. Do
it quickly. I’ll call Sir Toby the whilst.
She exits.
...The competitors enter.
Enter Toby and Maria.
...for all waters.
Thou mightst have done this without thy beard
and gown. He sees thee not.
...to my chamber.
Toby and Maria exit.